Ted's Soapbox 2.0

I got new contacts, I was wearing multi focal contacts but I was having problems driving as I couldn’t focus fast enough while driving. Now I just use reading glasses when I need them but I have to remember to take them off before I start to walk someplace or I end up walking in to the wall or the first thing in front of me, which isn’t fun. I guess age is catching up with me.

When I went back to work after my two days off the water was back on at work. It was nice being back in the modern world and not working in a Amish setting.

I got the transmission flushed and checked in the Ranger and they said it is good to go and that I should get another 100,000 miles or more out of it. I guess you can’t beat a Ford for brakes or transmissions.

I received a 5% pay raise at work (for superiour performance?) and I am trying to figure out if I want to put 31 inch tires on it or P265’s on it. the P265’s will be taller than the 31’s. I just can’t make up my mind. Either tire are $100 each at Walmart plus $10 each road hazzard. I guess I will decide the next time I get to Nebr City.

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ALL THE SWINE NEWS YOU NEED

Egypt has ordered all 300,000 pigs in the country killed in an effort to prevent Swine Flu from entering the country. Evidently they don’t know that the flu is spread mostly via human to human.

Israeli officals urge that the name Swine Flu be changec to Mexican Flu because the reference to pigs is offensive to both the Muslim and Jewish which consider pigs unclean.

A MAN who shook President Barack Obama’s hand in Mexico collapsed and died the next day with swine flu-like symptoms.

Archaeologist Felipe Solis, 65, met Mr Obama, on April 16, three days after the virus emerged. The White House said last night Mr Obama had been tested and was not in danger.

The US president said the spread of the disease was a cause for concern “but not a cause for alarm”.

What is swine flu?
Swine Influenza (swine flu) is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses that causes regular outbreaks in pigs. People do not normally get swine flu, but human infections can and do happen. Swine flu viruses have been reported to spread from person-to-person, but in the past, this transmission was limited and not sustained beyond three people.

Is this swine flu virus contagious?
CDC has determined that this swine influenza A (H1N1) virus is contagious and is spreading from human to human. However, at this time, it is not known how easily the virus spreads between people.

How can someone with the flu infect someone else?
Infected people may be able to infect others beginning 1 day before symptoms develop and up to 7 or more days after becoming sick. That means that you may be able to pass on the flu to someone else before you know you are sick, as well as while you are sick.

How serious is swine flu infection?
Like seasonal flu, swine flu in humans can vary in severity from mild to severe. Between 2005 until January 2009, 12 human cases of swine flu were detected in the U.S. with no deaths occurring. However, swine flu infection can be serious. In September 1988, a previously healthy 32-year-old pregnant woman in Wisconsin was hospitalized for pneumonia after being infected with swine flu and died 8 days later. A swine flu outbreak in Fort Dix, New Jersey occurred in 1976 that caused more than 200 cases with serious illness in several people and one death.

Can I get swine influenza from eating or preparing pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not spread by food. You cannot get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork products is safe.

Swine Influenza magnification of 37,800X,

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SAVING ON GAS

Ever wonder how a large family can get around town if you can’t afford the gas? This family has figured it all out for you.

I’m not sure how safe it is but it can sure help with population control after awhile.

A Real Fuel Saver

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EVERYONE’S DREAM MOM

At 8 month old babies weigh in at 17 pounds, mom weighs in at 30 stone which is 420 pounds. When she gave birth to the triplets she weighed 40 stone or 560 pounds. She started feeding her 3 babies McDonalds and fish & chips at the age of 6 months, although she says the fish is healthy because she takes the batter off before they eat it.

The Caesarean section took a team of 68 people, a specially built table and cost the national health service over 200,000 pounds. Mom receives benefits of 227 pounds a week – 140 pounds tax credit, 42 pounds child benefit and 45 pounds family allowance, which she spends on her ten a day cigarette habit and food.

The babies eat around 1,249 calories a day which comes from an 8oz bottle of milk at around 5.30am, another at 8am, and a crumpet with butter for breakfast, followed by lunch which could be scrambled eggs on toast, instant mashed potato with spaghetti o’s, or a jar of baby food, followed by a packet of Wotsits each at about 2pm. Around 4pm dinner is served and could consist of a microwave lasagne or pie which their mother chews so they can manage it, and they sometimes have another bottle of milk before bed, although their mother says they’re often too full. Mom says ‘I’m happy to give them fish and chips or chicken nuggets and chips as a treat once or twice a week.” She feeds the babies veggies every Sunday.

Mom is too busy to get out much, too busy to cook, clean or do laundry, in fact they only get dressed and go out once a week to collect her benefits.

****Maybe Octomom isn’t that bad after all****

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Number of Operations Iraq Freedom and Enduring
Freedom casualties as confirmed by U.S. Central
Command: 4938

Its more than just a number